Tuesday, March 12, 2013

TAT: Mommy Pet Peeves

Melissa from Growing Up Geeky decided to bring back Toddle Along Tuesday and I for one am thrilled. I enjoyed reading the many blogs that participated and once I started participating I had fun writing about the various mommy topics she and others would choose. This week's topic is "Mommy Pet Peeves" and while my hyper sensitive self could probably write a book I think I'll just list a few of the main piss off's errr pet peeves I have when it comes to being a mommy.

1) Judgement! This is my all time biggest pet peeve. Whether it come from non-parents or fellow mom's and dad's I find it to be un-necessary, pretentious and just plain rude. It comes in all shapes and sizes too. And I will even admit I've done it myself and then beat myself up upon realizing that I judged a fellow mommy. I especially did it before I became a parent and all I can do is laugh when I think back to "I will never..." and "If that were my kid..." that I did in those days. It's so true that you really have no clue until you become a parent so keep the judgement in check. But even fellow mommies do it. For example: I am a HUGE breastfeeding supporter and exclusively breastfed both my kids. That said I would never ever judge a mommy who couldn't or chose not to breastfeed. As far as I'm concerned it is each mom's own choice to do as she pleases and as long as she gives her baby the nutrition s/he needs than really that's all that matters. To each their own. Another example is the ever popular and sigh worthy debate of being a stay at home mom versus a working mom. This one probably grinds my gears the most. I think this article best explains why as it sums up my every thought.
To sum it up, don't judge what other moms do. Don't point fingers, lay blame or I told you so's and don't think you know what is best for that family. That mom is doing the best she knows/thinks and is working damn hard to be the best mom to her kids. Maybe what works for her family, doesn't work for yours...but then again what works for your family might not work for her's either. Maybe she doesn't want her kid to be an only child and is working on that but struggling, or perhaps she's desperate to be a stay at home mom but doesn't have that luxury financially as others may have, or maybe breastfeeding was something she looked forward to all throughout her pregnancy but her body wouldn't cooperate. My point is: judging others doesn't define who they are but it sure as heck defines who you are.

2) Sleep! (or lack thereof in our house lol). It's no secret that both our babies were not the greatest sleepers. So of course we tell people (friends, family, randoms in the internet world reading my blog) and of course we receive plenty of tips, tricks and advice. While I appreciate the thought and sentiment of everyone's input, it does get a teensy bit annoying. I've heard "maybe you need to tire/wear him/her out during the day. That way if they are really tired they'll sleep better" - ummmmm false and completely the opposite but thanks. I've also been pushed by a few others to start solids early because breast milk couldn't possibly be enough to fill a growing baby HA! I (and my doctor) disagree and since I pushed this child out, we'll go with that (but again, thanks for the thought and sentiment). And don't even get me started on the 'cry it out' routine. I just physically cannot do that, I get extreme anxiety.

3) This one was from when I was pregnant with baby # 2 and it stumbled over after Lilah was born. People (aka random strangers) would always ask the sex of our unborn child. Since we didn't know I would tell them this. They would then ask if it was our first and upon hearing my answer always made a comment about how we must be hoping for a girl. *Ummmmm NO! Hoping for a healthy baby and don't really care if it's a boy or a girl. Maybe I was a bit more sensitive to this since we were going through a bit of a hellish difficult pregnancy. But after Lilah was born we got a million and one comments about 'the perfect family' and John and I would laugh and bawk and say to each other "even if we had 2 boys it would be the perfect family because they would be our boys and they would be perfect and they would be our family". We both never really understood this comment and it made us a bit uncomfortable. (P.S. the 'perfect' family doesn't exist as everyone thinks their family is perfectly imperfect).
*disclaimer* That said I love having a girl and I won't lie, I love that we are able to experience both. I never had a brother and always wanted one and I also am grateful for the mother-daughter relationship as my mom one of my very best friends. Still the comments were weird as I never wished or hoped for anything more than healthy babies and honestly wouldn't have cared either way.

Ok, so I guess those are the 3 biggest pet peeves. I actually had fun blogging/venting about this. Feels good to get it out. haha! Thanks Melissa ;)

1 comment:

Melissa @ Growing Up Geeky said...

I hate those "perfect family" comments, too. So I guess since we don't have a boy our family isn't perfect? ::eyeroll::