Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I'm Not Ready For This

Last night John thought it would be a good idea to put Forrest to sleep in his crib for the first part of the night. I would have preferred waiting until he was 3 months but I reluctantly agreed since we said that the first time he woke up we would put him back in his bassinet. The crib was just something we were trying on and easing into. I also felt that since we were putting him to bed at 8pm (which is an hour or 2 earlier than he will usually go down at this point) he'd be up by 11pm and then be safely tucked into his bassinet beside me before I closed my eyes for sleep! So we swaddled him and put him down. He fussed a bit but eventually after a few times in to soothe him and/or put his sookie back in his mouth he fell fast asleep. I'll admit, and this may sound silly, but I cried! haha! Go ahead laugh at me! It was like the first sign of independance and well..I just wasn't ready! I love having him sleep next to me, I love listening to his calm soft breaths and his occasional whimpers as he dreams. I love waking up throughout the night, looking over and seeing his sweet little sound asleep angelic face!!
By 10:30pm he was still sound sleep and not stirring so this showed no sign of him getting up. John and I lay there talking about it and we must have checked on him a million times! Then John came in from checking on him and said that his blanket was up close to his face/mouth! I went in to have a look and try to move it down without disturbing his sleep. But then the next time we checked  on him it was back up around his face. Since they don't really reccommend babies sleep with blankets (especially close tot heir face) we regretted not putting him in his sleep sack. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I knew I wouldn't get any sleep with him in the next room so I got up and picked him up from his crib and brought him into our room to put him to sleep in his bassinet! He didn't wake and when I picked him up he snuggled right into me. I told John that Forrest missed me and was happy I brought him back in to our room but secretly I knew it was me that missed him like crazy and I was happy he was back! I think we'll gradually keep trying this since I don't want him to sleep in our room forever and it's obvious from last night that this transission is going to be much harder on me than Forrest-haha! We're going to leave him in his bassinet until the end of the month and then try the move for good. We are travelling in the next couple weeks and will be taking the basket from his bassinet home with us for his sleeping so we figure we may as well wait until after that to move him into the crib for sleeping! So go ahead and laugh at me, I don't care! My baby boy is growing up way too quickly and I want that to stop! I want him to be little forever! First it's the crib, then it's solids, then it's school, driving a car, going away to college and then getting married and I'll no longer be the most important woman in his life! Yikes-the waterworks almost started again just typing this out! haha!

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