*Gulp* The time is drawing near....

I have to return to work in a month and a half! I could cry every single time I think about it!! I HATE IT! I wish I could stay home with my little boy but thats just not an option for us right now! I really and truly cannot even wrap my head around the fact that it has been almost an entire year. While my mom was hear we got to reminiscing about this time last year and the year with Forrest thus far! It really does feel like it flew by! I remember the drive home from work on my last day! I remember thinking how long a year was going to be and how awesome it was! Then I remember the long 9 days at home waiting for our baby to arrive! At that time I remember thinking "OMG this is going to be a long year". But then we had our beautiful son and from that moment time has just moved in fast forward! I desperately wish it would slow down!
In August 2010 while I was 5 months pregnant, I made some calls and put our names on several day care wait lists. I really didn't think anything of it at the time and totally assumed that because I was calling well in advance we'd have no issues and if anything I'd probably have an excess of choices and be able to pick the cream of the crop when it came to daycares - the Harvard of daycares if you will!
Boy, was I wrong! Come June 2011 - I make some follow up calls and they give me some hopeful insight but not definite by any means! Then September rolls around and I call back as instructed by the daycares - this time the news is more grim and not as hopeful. Still they give me a tiny bit of hope to cling to and ask me to call back in another month. October is here before I know it and I pick up the phone with my daycare list in hand(which at this point has so many notes and pen marks and chicken scratches on it) and I begin to feel like a nuisance but still I call...this time they tell me not to hold my breath (well not in those words exactly) that it doesn't look good and they hope I have some back up child care options! I hang up feeling totally defeated, upset and panic stricken! I decide then and there I am NOT going back to work (until husband comes home and tells me point blank otherwise *sigh*). I then get back on the phone, send emails and reach out to any contacts I have. Just as I am about to feel totally sick to my stomach on this issue, my boss asks me to come in for a meeting to discuss my return and the business plan for January 2012! I set up a meeting and head into hell work.
****For the record I have already told hubby that no matter what the case we are not just leaving our son with anybody, that even though we have few to no options in childcare at this point I will still be extremely selective under all accounts****
The meeting comes and goes and I chat to a few people at work who have kids and live close by to us and I get a few names and numbers. I call them and get a shakey feeling about one but then I call the next lady and immediately just from talking to her I feel hopeful! We went to meet with her and both of us REALLY liked her. She actually really reminded us of John's grandmother -we both thought the exact same thing and as soon as I got in the car I asked John if she reminded him of anyone and he said "yeah Nanny" lol! She was very down to earth, has GREAT references and genuinely loves the kids! She loved Forrest and he loved her (he actually snuggled into her when she held him - which is a bit of a shocker as he only snuggles when he is sooky, sick or tired). All in all the meeting went awesome and I'm so relieved!!! I feel good about this decision (although I still wish I could just stay home with him).
And so on January 3rd, 2012 - I'll return to work and Forrest will begin a new adventure as well!